Six Things/Habits/Quirks Meme

Schmutzie has very kindly invited me to participate in something called a meme.

Here are the rules, which I am supposed to post:

Link to the person that tagged you.

Post the rules on your blog.

Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.

Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.

Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

Six Things/Habits/Quirks About Steph

1) I keep a poop calendar for an unidentified member of my family. (That is, he is identified to me but not to you. He's already got a lot to discuss with his future therapist and he's only two years old. Whoops.) On this poop calendar, I record the frequency, the timing, and the consistency of the poop. I have been instructed to do this by a medical professional. Sometimes I forget to do this, for as long as a week at a time. This makes me feel horribly guilty. So then I make up imaginary poops with which to fill in the calendar. This doesn't really make me feel less guilty. But at least the calendar looks nicely filled in. This poop calendar keeping is not something I  ever imagined I would one day find myself doing.

2) I have always had a great deal of difficulty imagining my future. The first instance of this happened when I was in the fifth grade and the teacher asked us to calculate how old we would be in the year 2000 and then to imagine what we would be doing with our lives then. I got stuck on the math part. I never did figure out how old I would be in the year 2000 and so I never really got around to the "what would I be doing" part. Interestingly, I just now realized that I can't remember how old I was in the year 2000. Nor can I remember what I was doing. So I guess it works both ways.

3) I often have trouble remembering significant details like, say, my age. I have even greater difficulty remembering the birthdays of others, even those I love very much. For instance, my son was born on the either the 5th or the 6th of some springtime-y month. I can't remember without checking. This makes answering identifying questions asked by officials (for example, banking and government officials) somewhat tricky. When asked, "And what is your date of birth?" I pause and stutter and stammer and mumble, "Now just let me think for a minute...". To an official, this is tantamount to saying, "Please wait as I check my computer database of stolen identities...".

4) Speaking of identities, computers, and databases -- I almost never accurately fill out the kind of computerized questionnaires you must complete in order to register at a website. I usually indicate that I am a very old man in the top income bracket who works in the military-industrial complex. Maybe this is why I have trouble remembering the truth.

5) I am disturbed by children's cartoons in which some animals are anthropomorphized and others are not. For instance, Mickey Mouse is a talking mouse who wears pants. Yet he has a dog (Pluto) who remains essentially and only dog-like. And all the animals on Little Bear, from Little Bear himself to the snake No-Feet, are able to converse in English. Yet Lucy's grandmother's dog is not. And it's not always a dog  -- I've often seen cats and insects get dissed in this way too. I also have a deep and abiding aversion to anthropomorphized animal characters who, in addition to being able to speak and wear human clothing, are given some wrenchingly inappropriate human physical characteristic as well. Arthur, I'm looking at the female animals on YOUR show. With horror. They all have heads of perfectly coiffed human hair. Ugh. Having a perfectly coiffed head of luxuriant human hair turns a cute anthropomorphized animal into some frightening hybrid creature that belongs in a science fiction novel. To the creators of these children's shows I say: Reality or Fantasy, people. Pick a side and stick to it. (Or write science fiction novels for adults. Most science fiction fans can probably take cats with full heads of curly red hair. Innocent children and their mothers should not be exposed to such images.)

6) I personally have a great deal of trouble distinguishing between Reality and Fantasy in my own life, which is, perhaps, why I find these cartoons so distasteful. If I can't look to cartoons for accurate role models, where can I turn? Now please excuse me while I go add some imaginary notations to my poop calendar.

Sean, babelbabe, Life of 'Pie, Kate, Scribbling Woman, and Aishwarya, you are tagged. (But pleased don't feel compelled if you'd rather not.)

Comments

[babelbabe]

I recently found all of the following, all in a shoe box jammed under my bed: several old day planners with all my period dates marked; the ovulation charts with which we managed to get pregnant the first time; the first baby's poop and breastfeeding charts, carefully notated and accurate; the second child's same charts, MUCH more haphazard. I threw everything in the recycling. I hope no one finds them, EVER.

Thx for tagging! I love memes, they keep me going when I have nothing else of note to say : )

[kittenpie]

I consistently give the same wrong birthday, in which I confuse the number of my month with the numer of my day. It's weird, but there it is.

I will get to work on this!

And try again to get you to work in bloglines, too, because I keep forgetting to come on over with my crutch.

[Kate C.]

I'm on it! :)

[Sean Carman]

sure, I'll do it. Perhaps this weekend . . .

[ta]

I don't have the poop calendar yet, but these days it wouldn't surprise me. I still have the breastfeeding/poop charts babelbabe mentioned. But just for the first week or two. That's all we managed. Then we kept track of everything my son at for about a month, because he had Salmonella (from Veggie Booty!) and the Health Department kept calling and asking what he ate two weeks prior. I felt like saying "Do you remember what you ate 2 weeks ago?" So, we decided to be prepared in case someone else asked us that question. Anyway, as far as things you didn't foresee, I would have to add holding my son over the toilet for 15 minutes. He enjoyed it thoroughly, but did nothing but sit there. He's a little guy, but I thought my arms were going to fall off. We bought a potty seat the next day.

[mama without instructions]

i can so relate to number 5. i think we all keep track of weird details about our kids but you sound very organized about it!

[Stephany Aulenback]

You know, you guys have reminded me of the breastfeeding and sleep charts. I think I'd blocked them.

[Matthew Tiffany]

The poop chart was very strictly maintained with daughter number one, as was the poop chart, for at least a year. "Strictly" also involved "guesstimating". With number two, it's been a little more relaxed - though now that she's starting on cereal and jar foods, we've noticed... differences, that are bringing the importance of charting back to the front.

The other night, reading one of the completely interchangeable Angelina Ballerina books, my elder daughter and I noted that the mice all wear clothes except for Anya, the visiting mouse exchange student, who appears naked throughout most of the book. My girl thought this was hysterical and wanted to know why; I considered telling her that in other countries, they're more comfortable with their nudity, but Pandora's Box is not to be opened at bedtime.

[Matthew Tiffany]

Sorry - "as was the feeding chart" - sometimes, it's all about the poop.