Chester [Kallman, W. H. Auden's young lover] once described ... a time when he and Auden were riding the subway to Chester's grandmother's house and began to argue over which psychological roles they played with each other. As the other passengers looked on in disbelief, Auden shouted over the roar of the train, "I am not your father, I'm your mother!" and Chester yelled back, "You're not my mother! I'm your mother...You're my father!" "But you've got a father!" Auden countered. "I'm your bloody mother and that's that, darling! You've been looking for a mother since the age of four!"