Oh please. Next thing they'll be expecting us to lactate red wine. And excrete roses.
Notice how I totally elevated that last remark by using a word of Latin etymology instead of the more commonly used Middle English term. Horrified readers can expect me to resume posting literary excerpts tomorrow or the next day at the latest. I'm tired of being pregnant today and found it inexplicably soothing to pass the time searching for baby shower presents I would be appalled to receive. I've now got a whole folder full of them. The only thing worse than getting the Orgasmic Birth video from some random person at your baby shower would be getting it from your mother-in-law.