crooked house

Made By Joel

I don't know how I missed Made by Joel, a blog devoted to handmade toys by a stay-at-home dad, for so long. The Paper City, pictured above, is right up our alley and you can download the templates here.

Joel has a book called Made to Play!: Handmade Toys and Crafts for Growing Imaginations available for pre-order. Those paper animals are terrific.

Things You Don't Want Your Child Shouting in Public

Moment 37 when you briefly suspect your almost-two-year-old may be possessed by the devil: You take her into a friendly neighbourhood restaurant that serves breakfast all day and she immediately starts spinning around, pointing wildly over the heads of the little old ladies frequenting the place, and shouting, "Cock! Cock! Cock!"

You are completely flummoxed, even shocked, and then you realize that the place is decorated in a rooster and hen motif and she is only trying to say, "Cluck cluck!" or perhaps "Cock-a-doodle-do!"

So right away you start explaining this to your husband in an overly loud and cheerful voice, "Oh how cute, she's trying to say 'cluck cluck'! Isn't she? You're trying to say 'cluck, cluck,' aren't you, Sylvie? Sylvie! You mean 'cluck cluck'!" And she nods, beaming, and continues to shout, "COCK! COCK! COCK!" all through breakfast.

Guy Dancing in His Basement

Luke and Sylvie are loving everything about this. If I could perform a dance routine like that, I believe my life might just be complete. (I have been fantasizing about putting my children in dance classes. Never mind that old saying, "Those who can't, teach." It should be, "Those who can't, have children. And then pay somebody else to teach them.")

One Line a Day

Seeing this pretty and old-fashioned One Line a Day: A Five-Year Memory Book makes me wonder if anyone is using twitter to write one tweet at the end of each day summing it up. Just one tweet -- no more allowed. Facebook could work like that, too. One status update summing up each day, no more. But both twitter and facebook seem much more ephemeral than a journal. Are all your tweets and status updates saved? If so, for how long?

My mother-in-law kept a five-year diary before she died -- I believe she faithfully jotted just one line or two about each day before she went to bed. And I know my father-in-law does -- he often surprises me with a comment about what we were doing on this day two or three years ago. This is particularly of interest when you have small children who seem to change so fast.

I've often thought of using something like My Quotable Kid: A Parents' Journal of Unforgettable Quotes but I already record almost everything interesting or amusing my children say either here or on my facebook page, which I know drives a lot of people nuts. But I'm even a sucker for the funny things other people's children say, which makes me the perfect audience for sites like My Kid Is Gifted. 

Found Alphabet

I'd like to compile and frame a found alphabet (like this one) of my own. This would be a great project to do with the kids. I'm also trying to collect as many versions of the letters "L" and "S" for them as possible.

British Telephone Box Iphone Case

I want one.

Valentine's Day Hangover

Both the children had ear infections last week and now I can't hear anything. Every time we pass a window Sylvie points at the piles of snow outside and cries, "...no... ...no...!" Is it that she just can't say the "s" or does she feel the same way I do about it? Luke, who is home from school because he threw up twice yesterday, once all over his sheets and once while the children were passing out valentines in class, calls out from the other room: "Mama! Mama! I can lift this giant yellow table with only one knee!" I brace for the sound of the crash and wonder if I can't hear it because it didn't happen or because there is a build-up of poisonous fluid blocking my ears. Sylvie, sitting in her high chair, smiles garishly like a cherub in a silent movie and hurls a half-eaten bowl of tomato and white bean soup on the floor. Oh February, you can try to bribe me with flowers and chocolates and cards hinting at warm nights of slow sex but it's still cold and grey and my children now have medications for their medications and  they want their backs rubbed for hours before they will deign to fall coughing asleep and you're still February. I'm taking them upstairs and putting us all back to bed.

Shhh. Don't Tell Anyone But...

Sometimes I buy things only because I like what they are called. Hence these Sticks and Twigs. Feeding them to my children makes me feel like we're living in Hansel and Gretel. I don't know if that makes me the very evil stepmother or the extremely evil witch. They are organic and supposedly good for you. And they look pretty much like real sticks and twigs:

Of course the children do not really like them. We've had this half-eaten bag for several weeks. Every now and then I take out a couple and eat them while chortling. Marketers, I am your target. (Maybe that makes me more like the far too easily influenced woodcutter father.)

Only A Brain Injury Could Make Martin Amis Write for Children

Only a brain injury could make Martin Amis write for children. Yes, that's what he said. Children's book author and illustrator and cartoonist Patricia Storms had some fun imagining Amis as various characters from classic children's literature. You can read about his comment and see the rest of the cartoons here.

Luke's Lollipop Photo Valentines

Inspired by Design Mom, who got the idea from 24-7-365, Luke and I made these easy-peasy Lollipop Valentines. First we took a digital photo of him holding out his fist. Next we used picnik, an online photo editor, to insert the Happy Valentine's Day text along the side. We then emailed the photo to Walmart to print enough copies for all of his classmates. (Although Walmart is fast -- the photos were ready in an hour -- I do not recommend visiting Walmart on a Saturday afternoon when you are not in the mood to love all humanity.) Next, I used an exacto knife to cut a small slit in the top and the bottom of Luke's fist -- we inserted a heart-shaped lollipop into these. We also considered using Valentine pencils instead but Luke chose to go with the candy. Of course. He's over there in the dining room right now, carefully copying the names off his class list.