crooked house

"Hello, My Name Is Inigo Montoya" T-shirt

See how it's made from little "Hello my name is..." stickers? Brilliant. Via not martha.

Wouldn't It Be Funny

Luke: Mommy, wouldn't it be funny if the world were made out of lego?

Steph: Yes, it would.

Luke: Like you and me and Sylvie would all be made out of lego...

Steph: Yes, and you could take off my head and put it on your body and then put yours on mine!

Luke (giggling): Yeah! And the ground would be made of lego, and the sky...

Steph: Yes, and when it rained it would rain little blue lego blocks...

Luke: Yeah! And when it snowed it would snow little white lego blocks!

Steph: Yeah...

Luke: Yeah, and the ocean would be made of lego!

Steph: Yeah...

Luke: And the cars would be made out of lego, and when they crashed, they would break into a thousand lego pieces!

Steph: Yeah...

Luke: And trees would be made of lego and in the fall the leaves would be made out of red, yellow, orange, and brown lego!

Steph:  Mmmhmm...

Luke: Blah blah blah, lego, lego, lego!!

Steph: Uhuh...

Luke: Lego, lego, lego, blah blah blah!!

Steph (trying to change things up a little): Hey, wouldn't it be funny if the world were made of jello?!

Luke: ...

Steph: Like you'd be made out of jello and I'd be made out of jello and Sylvie would be made out of jello?

Luke: That wouldn't work. Jello is too wobbly.

Steph: Sure it would! We'd all wobble around on a wobbly world!

Luke: ...

Steph: ...

Luke: I just want to talk about lego.

Steph: Okay.

 

The Crappy Laws of Parenting

 

The brilliant Amber Dusick reveals the eight crappy laws of parenting.

Good Morning Everyone.

 

Steph: What would you like for breakfast, Luke?

Luke: I want Special K, please.

Vivi: Want Special Cake too!

Luke (in an irritated voice): It's not Special Cake, Sylvie, it's Special K.

Vivi (starting to cry angrily): Is Special Cake, is Special Cake!

Luke (getting angry too): Is not!

Vivi (in a tremendous hideous screech): IS TOOOOOOOOOOO!

Luke (jumps, then, beginning to weep tears of rage): IS NOT!

Vivi (shrieking and wailing): ISSSSS TOOOOOO! IS TOOOO SPECIAL CAKE!!

Luke (enraged and sobbing): IT'S NOT SPECIAL CAKE! IT'S NOT CAKE! IT'S CEREAL!

Vivi responds in kind until both children are heaving and writhing on the floor.

 

Tiny Family in a Bottle

I don't need it, of course, but I want it. This tiny family in a bottle is from the etsy shop Tiny World in a Bottle. The tiny worlds are made by a Japanese architectural model maker in his spare time. Via handmade charlotte.

Rocking the Cradle

Gorgeous rocker cradle by fine woodworker Scott Morrison.

The copy I borrowed of  Babies: An Unsentimental Anthology, edited by Iona and Peter Opie, is long overdue at the library. A computer somewhere is totting up my fine as I type. And that is a shame, as I've been meaning to post number of excerpts from this delicious collection of amusing, unflattering, and often realistic snippets from literature about babies. Here is one of my favourites:

If you rock an empty cradle, you will rock a new baby into it. This is a superstition in viridi observantia, and it is quite curious to see the face of alarm with which a poor woman, with her tenth baby in her arms, will dash across the room to prevent the 'baby-but-one' from engaging in such a dangerous amusement as rocking the empty cradle.

                      The Book of Days, Robert Chambers, 1864, II, 9 July

I've been collecting lots of  photos of beautiful rocker cradles and rocking chairs on pinterest.

Hate Mail From Children

When astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson "demoted" Pluto from a planet to an icy comet, he got a lot of hate mail from children.

Moss Graffiti

Moss graffiti -- a brilliant and beautiful idea. Go here for the recipe for the moss "paint." Now to find some suitable surfaces and come up with some suitable quotations. What words would you paint in moss?

Living With a Pet Lion

According to one of the comments on the blog that featured these old LIFE magazine photos, the family in these photos is Tippi Hedren's -- the little girl in bed with the lion in the first photo is apparently the young Melanie Griffith. Via Making It Lovely.

Thumb Thing

What do you think? Is the Thumb Thing sheer genius or completely unnecessary? I'm thinking I'd like to try one.