crooked house

One Day, My Child, You Will Be

A bishop, a boxer, a bullfighter. Eric Maloberti imagines what the future may hold for his three-month-old daughter June.

And of course, DON'T MISS Lotte Time Lapse: Birth to 12 years in 2 min 45, which makes me want to weep.

Alice in "Underland" Shoes

Vivi has officially switched her allegiance from Dorothy to Alice, as evidenced by the fact that she now wears black Mary Janes all the time instead of ruby slippers. She's also been toying with headbands. Time to purchase a blue dress with a white apron coverall. Do you think she got all those cuts and bruises falling down the rabbit hole?

Boobie Beanie

You can purchase these boobie beanie baby hats -- or the pattern to make one yourself -- on etsy. You know, so you can protect the delicate sensibilities of those who are offended by public breastfeeding. God forbid anyone should happen to glimpse a bit of breast as it nourishes an infant.

Sylvie and The Wizard of Oz

Sylvie discovered The Wizard of Oz a few days ago and the movie has been on constant replay in the crooked house ever since. She identifies very strongly with Dorothy and often refers to her as "Sylvie." This morning she was wearing her (too-large) "ruby slippers" -- she has taken to calling them that -- with her night gown when I remembered that the dress I bought her this summer for her second birthday looks a lot like Dorothy's. Up till now, she has absolutely hated this dress and refused ever to put it on. I think we're going to be seeing a lot of it from now on.

Luke's Lego Minifig Costume

He wanted it to look exactly like his minifig character in Lego Universe and he's very pleased with the result. I'd like to print out the Lego logo and glue it to the front of the body but Luke's not having any of that.

We took some inspiration from these extremely handy fellows but simplified, simplified, simplified. The fancy costumes they made -- they're practically perfect replicas -- took 40-50 hours each to make and required the use of a variety of power hand tools. Ours took probably 4 hours, tops.

For the mask, we used two sheets of yellow craft foam, taped together with yellow duct tape. Luckily, the tape and the foam were the same perfect colour. The  most finicky part was using said yellow duct tape to fasten a flat circle cut frome the same kind of foam to the top of the mask. We ended up using the glue gun as well and just fiddled a lot. The eyes were a bit fiddly, too -- they needed to look like minifig eyes but they also needed to be in the right places for Luke to see through them. We marked the positions of his eyes with a pencil and used an exacto knife to cut out circles. (Note: NOT while Luke was wearing the mask.) The smile was drawn on with a sharpie marker.

The little round connecter on the very top of the mask and the hands were both made from little round craft boxes we found at Walmart for two dollars each. For the top, we just covered it in the yellow duct tape and hot-glued it on. For the hands, we cut out the bottoms of the boxes, snipped a section out of the sides, covered them in yellow duct tape, and taped them to the backs of fingerless gloves that Luke keeps tucked inside his sleeves. (We had a pair of red mittens that would have worked better but Luke insisted that he will need his fingers free to select his Halloween treats.)

We purchased two cardboard display boards, one in red and one in blue, and simply cut out a front and back from the red in the correct shape for the body. We hotglued two strips of red fleece, cut from an old blanket, to them for shoulder straps. The body fits him like a sandwich board. (The cardboard display boards  each cost $11 at a craft store -- if you wanted to save money, you could just use any old cardboard and paint it.)

The legs are also glued to a strip of red fleece that wraps around Luke's middle and is fastened in the back with a couple of safety pins. If I had to do it again, I think I'd make the legs out of one piece of cardboard instead of two, as they tend to get kicked out to the sides as he walks.

When Luke isn't wearing his costume, Sylvie likes to put on the mask and walk around intoning "I BE ROBOT. I BE ROBOT." We have no idea where she picked this up.

It's been a busy couple of weeks for minifigs -- a mysterious 8-foot-tall one recently washed up on a beach in Florida.

Vivi's New Hat

Sylvie picked this hat up in the costume section at the drugstore this morning. (Only two bucks and  change!) It gets her so many compliments I'm thinking of getting one for myself.

Lego Minifig Halloween Costume

Image found here from the book The Cult of LEGO.

Luke wants to be a Lego Minifig (Majifig?) for Halloween. I can't seem to a costume to buy anywhere, which seems a major oversight on the part of Lego, and so far all the instructions I've found online for making the rounded yellow helmet seem unduly complicated. Does anyone have any ideas on how to make such a costume simply?

Or maybe I could just find him a Newt Gingrich mask. Bonus: it would be much scarier.

How To Make A Dowager Countess Hat

Holly and I made a Dowager Countess hat for The Awl. You know, from Downton Abbey? Go find out how to make one for yourself. And see some more deeply unflattering photos of me. (Man, is that mirror ever dirty.)

Sneak Peek: Top Secret Fashion Project

Vivi has generously leant me one of her official pirate hats for my super top secret fashion project. Here's a sneak peek. Hint: it involves painting periwinkles purple.

Can you guess what we're working on?

Mahone Bay Pirate Festival

We were very busy on Friday because the children had a pirate convention in Mahone Bay. They have been official pirates for over a year now -- membership is a complicated process involving a treasure hunt and a special vocabulary test among other things, which they completed at the Victoria, British Columbia branch. Of course when they heard pirates were invading nearby Mahone Bay, long a haunt of pirates, for the weekend, they knew they would be expected to be there. This is a photo of them on their way. (Modern pirates sometimes go by car. And they use the carseats with the very highest safety ratings, just in case they have to run someone off the road.)

Actually, modern pirates use a variety of modes of transportation. This one hijacks her own father and demands to be carried. She has to almost put out his eyes several times with her plastic sword in order to make him comply.

The pirates, along with their grandfather, survey the government wharf before the other pirates show up.

In the pub, Luke meets up with another pirate (a local politician, which makes perfect sense) who shares some of his booty with him. The pirate/politician relishes saying the word "booty" and also asks Luke if his sister is for sale. Um, perhaps he should stick to kissing  babies. Only not mine.

After a nice pub dinner, we go down to the wharf to watch more pirates sail in.

I'm thinking this one is a ghost pirate.

These pirates arrive by SUV, which they park in front of Grandpa's house.

Luke checks out the pirate treasure beside another young pirate in a fetching red and white polka-dotted kerchief.

Two pirates checking out the menu at the Mug and Anchor Pub. Hey, pirates have to eat, too, and some are even allergic to shellfish.

One can always fall back on the official pirate chip truck.

This is a possible William Gilkerson sighting. He is the renowned Maritime artist and pirate expert who wrote the excellent (and Governor General's award-winning) Pirate's Passage, a book that belongs in the library of every child who loves pirates. It has a special place in my heart because it is set in Mahone Bay. (Gilkerson lives nearby.) There was a tribute to him and talks by experts who advised on movies like Pirates of the Caribbean in the official Pirate Festival yurt*, but my pirates wouldn't have been able to sit still long enough for those. 

I highly recommend this festival, which is still in its infancy (its second year) precisely because of that fact. The town isn't as crowded as it gets for say, the Scarecrow Festival held in October -- lately the streets have been as crowded as New York's for that. And because Mahone Bay has a rich history of pirates (including the renowned Oak Island mystery), it's the perfect place to take kids interested in this stuff.

*What, you didn't know yurts had anything to do with pirates? Well you learn something new every day.