crooked house: Email Crisis and Precious Moments From the Family Reunion

Sorry to have disappeared for so long. We went on an old-fashioned vacation -- the insane road trip kind. We drove to a family reunion in southern Ontario and we didn't have much access to the internet along the way. I can tell you, though, exactly how many fire trucks, yellow Beetles, and rabbits we saw. Unfortunately, I have come home to find that my computer will not start. So, if you have sent me an email in the past two weeks, I have not received it. This also means that, most likely, I have lost your email address, even if I email you all the time. You cannot believe the mental anguish this is causing me. It's worse than going on a 27 hour car trip with a three-year-old. For the time being, please send all email to stephkau at hotmail dot com. And, if you take pity on me, even if you have nothing to say to me, please send me a one-liner so at least I'll have your email address again.

OVERHEARD AT THE FAMILY REUNION:

DAVID and UNCLE JOE are sitting around talking about the cousins who went skinny-dipping in Lake Erie at four in the morning.
DAVID: I thought that lake was polluted.
UNCLE JOE (shrugging): Well...
DAVID: I thought you weren't allowed to swim in it. Can you swim in it?
UNCLE JOE: Well... you know, you can. If you're drunk out of your mind.
DAVID: They should put that on the sign.

GRAMMA (to her three-year-old grandson): Let's go fight on the stairs!
GRANDSON: Okay!