In Which We Contemplate Names For The New Baby But Remain Largely Undecided

Note: The lovely Pamela Satran Redmond over at the excellent Nameberry baby-naming site stumbled upon Crooked House a week ago and asked if I'd contribute some musings about naming the new baby to the Nameberry Blog. This is the result -- it is cross-posted there, complete with a lovely picture of a MOM tattoo.

It was around Christmas time when we started talking about the new baby with Luke so maybe it shouldn't have been a surprise when he suggested we call it Baby Jesus. His second suggestion, Pooko, was in my opinion, an improvement, if only very marginally.

The other day his preschool teacher asked him what we were going to name the new baby.

He said, "I don't know. We have to make a list."

"Oh, you should put the name 'Libby' on the list. I really like that name."

"I can't," he said.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because 'Rosie's' already on my list. I like the name 'Rosie.'"

Obviously he's not quite clear yet on the concept of "list." I know here he came up with Rosie -- when he thinks of the name, he pictures a sweet little girl with curly brown hair who stars on a children's travel television show. I picture Rosie O'Donnell. I like Rosie O'Donnell. I just don't want to picture her face when I'm cuddling my newborn.

David's mother died a month before Luke's birth. At the time, we already knew we were having a boy. And she'd indicated, without actually coming right out and saying so, that while she liked our choice for a first name, she wasn't thrilled about our choice of Johann for the second. We'd chosen it because the first Aulenback, a common surname in our region of Nova Scotia, to settle here was a Johann. After her sudden death, we decided not to use it. (The lesson in that? If you don't want your loved ones to do something, die.)

Now that we're having a girl and so can do more to honour David's mother this time, it has crossed both our minds that we should try to somehow work her name into the new baby's. The trouble is that while her name, Linda, is pretty and has a lovely meaning, it does not yet seem quite ready for a revival. According to Nameberry, it was the most popular name for girls in 1950 and therefore we immediately picture someone, well, round about the age of David's mother when we say it. What about her middle name? Well... it was Bertha. While I was surprised when Ruby, a name of a similar vintage, made its comeback, Ruby has grown on me in a way that Bertha just hasn't. (We actually tried to name our cat, Theo, Ruby until the vet informed us we'd have to go with Rudy.) I don't see Bertha developing a cachet anytime soon. No, I see Bertha wearing orthopedic tennis shoes with a plus-size skirt. No offense to any Manolo-and-mini-skirt wearing Berthas out there -- and I'm sure they exist. Although, come to think of it, I don't like to think of my baby wearing Manolos or mini skirts either. David and I were talking about -- over, around -- this dilemma late last night when all sensible people were either asleep or ordering grills from the Home Shopping Network. We really, really want to honour David's mother. But we don't much like the name, not for someone born in 2009. My brilliant solution? Why not give the new baby the middle name "Mom"? That way, we'd be paying homage to my own mother, too. (Whose name just happens to be Ruth Alvira.)

The other problem I have with choosing a name is that I'm a bit of a misanthrope. I know people steer clear of the names of exes, say, or of children who picked on them in elementary school, or of mean bosses, or, I don't know, psychopathic killers. But I have trouble with any name that has actually already belonged to a human being. Even if I really like you -- even if I really love you -- I'm unlikely to want to drape my fresh new baby in your used kleenex of a name. And yet, however much I like to think that I'm a creative person (after all, I'm creating a whole new person here right in my midsection), I'm not really a fan of "creative" names. Here's the kind of list I come up with when I try to get creative:

Words That Would Make Nice Names for Babies, If It Weren't For Their Unsuitable Meanings

FOR GIRLS

Angina
Calorie
Dyslexia
Feta
Plaice
Reciprocity
Uvula

FOR BOYS

Bench
Caftan
Chyle
Raunch
Rennet
Roily
Torrid
Thwart
Fellatio

I guess you'd have to say we're open to suggestions.

Comments

[babelbabe]

can you go with Lin, or a variation thereof (Melinda, Belinda (with her cowardly dragon : )), Lynette, etc.)? Or go Jewish, so to speak, and pick a lovely L or B name...just not necessarily Linda or Bertha : )

I personally love Lucinda and as I will never get to name a baby girl, perhaps you could use it for me. No?

[kittenpie]

I rather think Plaice and Linnet have a ring to them...

But yes, I know lots of 50-something Lindas. We had much the same process in our first attempt at naming Pumpkinpie - a quick scan of female family names revealed Myrtle, Ethel, Irene, Clara, and Ramona. I don't mind those last two too much, but not enough to use them. What I did discover was that Ethel's middle name was Adeline, which I really quite liked and would have tried to name a second girl, if we had had one of those instead of a boy Bun. Dig around, there might be something good buried deep in the family tree if you really want to honour the roots in some way. Or maybe a significant place? I also considered Geneva, as I has Swiss people, but it is also a real name (Mamie Eisenhower's middle name, in fact).

Naming is VERY hard. Good luck!

[Emmy Jo]

I found your blog through your Nameberry post. Your list of word names is hilarious. I've thought before of words that would make interesting baby names -- well, if they weren't actually words. My two favorites that might actually be usable are Rafter (for a boy) and Meridian (for a girl).

As a name for your daughter, you might consider a variation on Linda or Bertha (either based on sound or meaning).

Linda means "soft, tender" in Germanic and "beautiful" in Spanish. Names related in sound would be Lindita (Albanian for "dawn of a new day"), Belinda, or Melinda. The name Rosalind comes from the same Germanic element ("soft, tender"). Other names that mean "beautiful" are Anwen, Belle, Isolde, Callista, Calanthe, Caoimhe (pronounced as KEE-vuh).

Bertha means "bright, famous." You might consider Clara (one of my personal favorites), which means "clear, bright, famous." Other names that mean "bright" are Niamh (NEEV), Leocadia, and Phoebe. A name that combines the meanings of Linda and Bertha is the Welsh Eirian, meaning "bright, beautiful."

Obviously, some of these might appeal to you more than others. My personal favorites are Clara, Rosalind, and Isolde. All the names can be looked up here:
http://www.behindthename.com/

Hope this helps!

[Kate C.]

Ahhh... *wipes tear from eye* The boy's names...hilarious.

[Rose]

My mother-in-law died before she could meet her grandchildren, too & I was faced with the same conundrum when I was pregnant with my daughter-- wanted to honor my mother-in-law, not crazy about her first name (and she never liked it, either). So, we did what babelbabe says, chose a name with the same first letter. Feels a little like cheating, but, uh, I got to pick a name I like.

[Stephany Aulenback]

You know what, I actually might like "Rosalind" for the middle name. Luke would be happy, Linda would be happy (assuming that's still possible, which I very much like to assume), everybody would be happy.

We'll see if David would be happy.

But how is it pronounced? Rose-a-lind or Roz-a-lind?

And babelbabe: never say never. I do like Lucinda, although I like Lucia or just plain Lucy better -- but we've already got one kid whose name starts with Lu.

Incidentally, the newest human I "know" is a Lucinda: you can see her at http://skywesterncrooked.blogspot.com/

[Stephany Aulenback]

And Rose, you didn't say what you ended up naming your baby!

[Rose]

Ha! You caught me! -- I have a creeping fear that her name is about to be trendy. And then I'll have to change it.

Of course, the only way I can ensure that you don't use it is to let you know that it's been used.

It's Beatrice. My husband thought it was a bit much-- in the "Whoa! Dante?" sense-- at first, but now he likes it. And, we mostly call her Beatie, which is a good sized name for a baby.

(My mother-in-law's name was Brenda. My husband was hoping that Six Feet Under had refreshed the name, but I just don't think it's pretty [besides, that character was insane].)

[Rose]

oh, and I love the name Lucinda, too. Lucy for short.

[clairelight]

How about Berlin or Beryl (by rearranging syllables or letters from both grandmothers' names)? Or Alberta?

[Emmy Jo]

It's generally pronounced ROZ-uh-lind, but you could certainly still call her Rosie for short.

You'll have to let us know what your husband thinks of it.

I'm enjoying your blog, by the way!

[Stephany Aulenback]

Thanks, Emmy Jo. I prefer the ROZ pronounciation, anyway.

Clairelight -- not a fan of Beryl or Alberta. And I've never been to Berlin, feel it just wouldn't be right to name the child after a place I've never been! What if we went, later, and hated it. There are a lot of Brooklyns, Madisons, Dakotas and so on around here whose parents, I suspect, have never been to those places.

Rose, I do like the name Beatrice -- like how you can shorten it to Beatie, as you did, or Bea! I bet you're right -- it probably is due for a revival. (Agree about the Brenda name -- loved that show but that Brenda WAS insane.)

[Shari]

Love the list! When we were expecting our twins we had two fake names we'd use when people asked. Dakota was a big name at the time and we used to tell people we were going to name the children North and South (North Dakota and South Dakota). Some people laughed; others thought we were serious. In any case, we always thought the reactions were funny.

People are always judgemental about what you name your children, so you might as well have fun with it.

[Wendy]

I don't know what your MIL's maiden name was, but that can be a great way of honoring someone who has passed on. Using the maiden name as a middle name.

[Amy]

How about going with something with a similar meaning? Like, Linda means beautiful or pretty in Spanish, but I'm sure there are lots of other names with the same meaning, maybe from other languages, etc. Also check out Nymbler.com, where you can enter names you do like for inspiration and it gives you suggestions.

Found you via Intrepid Tuesday - congrats both on the entry and the expansion of your family!

[daysgoby]

I loved this!

Naming babies is really, really hard!

We used the three name system with our son (he's named after my FIL, himself, and his father's middle name, and my daughter is named after my grandmother (a Rosemary, let's hear it for old names!) and a variation on a family friend's name.

Good luck!

One nice variation of Belinda is Lindy, which I don't think anyone mentioned yet....

[Loth]

My name is Linda! Or more accurately, Lynda - so people can mis-spell it more easily, I suppose. I honestly have never thought of it as being an old name - there are lots and lots of Li(y)ndas over here! (My family middle name, on the other hand, is Flucker, which I definitely do NOT recommend!)

[recovergirl]

Geronimo. Gerry for short. Olive for a girl.

[jamie]

After my grandfather passed before ever getting to meet any grandchildren I knew I wanted to use his last name and my mothers maiden name for a little girl. Now here I am due in weeks and I am having a hard time. The name that was rare just a few years ago is everywhere. So while my Reese hangs in the air of popularity I have a name idea for you "Lindley"

[emily]

hey there- I found your blog through my sister's blog (Fay, new mom to Lucinda!)

What about using the same initials? My grandfather wanted to name a son after himself, but had three girls. So instead of a James Robert, he got a Janice Rita! So maybe a Lucia ... Beth? :)

Good luck. Naming is hard. I'm named for my great-grandmother and don't run in to many women my age with my name, but anyone ten years and younger... it's this generation's "Linda."

[Diana]

My husband is Italian, and Italians have a saint for every day, and you can pretty much only name your baby a saint's name. There are no backyard hippie weddings there (like mine) and no hippie baby names. I liked the Italian name Inez, but the relatives cringed. To them, it sounds like old aunt Agnes to us. And Lucia is pronounced Lou-CHEE-uh, which I think is pretty. And Beatrice is Bay-ah-TREE-chay, but with a roll in the R, it sounds prettier. I'm planning on getting busy making another baby soon, and I wish I had the courage to use Piksie for a girl. I think it is a made up name of a girl who blogs and dresses in pretty vintage clothes. I dunno. And lately, doing genealogical research, I've seen great names in my family tree. I love the Puritan names of my ancestors Hopestill Holly and Experience Wise Banqs--both women, although both names were used for men too. True is a Puritan name that could get some modern traction. I used to work with a girl called Courage, but she named herself that, and she was a meanie and a dummy, so don't use that.

[Steph]

Olive's making a bit of a comeback, isn't it?

And I don't know, Jamie, I think Reese is still pretty rare...

Welcome, Fayrene and Lucinda's Emily! I wonder if people will think you're a lot younger than you actually are, once all those young Emilys start to catch up.

Really like the name True, Diana...