Baby On Board

Here is how becoming a parent changes you: before I had a baby, I thought those "Baby On Board" signs were ludicrous. "Yeah, okay," I'd say whenever I saw one. "Sure. If this car suddenly careers completely out of my control, I won't hit you. Even though I won't have any control over the car, I'll be certain not to hit you. Because, you know, you've got a baby in that car. And babies are clearly more important than other human beings. And therefore I'll be able to magically avoid hitting your car."

Shortly after Luke was born, my mother bought one of those signs for our car. And, although I felt silly about it, I let her put it in the back window. Partly out of superstition, but partly because I had begun to think that in some cases, it might actually help. Say the car behind you on the highway suddenly careers wildly out of control, yes, but say the driver of that car has a split second in which to decide to whether to swing the wheel wildly in the direction of your car, the one containing a baby in the backseat, or in the direction of some other car with no one in the backseat, or some elderly person with a terminal disease who has already lived a long and full life in the backseat, or even, say, in the direction of the cement divider in the middle of the road. Or something. Just, say. In those cases, such a sign might actually be helpful. You never know. And so you find yourself rationalizing attempts to control the uncontrollable. Because what appears uncontrollable might actually be somewhat controllable or slightly controllable or even a teensy tiny smidge controllable. This is what it means to be a parent. 

Now, having said that, I realize I haven't addressed the notion that a baby's life is clearly more important than some other, older human being's life. To a parent, that seems self-evident, at least until you start asking Sophie's Choice type questions about the baby's siblings and then don't be surprised when said parent curls up on the floor in the fetal position and starts keening pitifully. Still, I do understand that all human life is valuable. Which is why I have contemplated producing other versions of those "Baby on Board" signs such as "Senior Citizen On Board. I've Made It This Far. Please Don't Kill Me Now." Or "Middle-Aged Person On Board. I'm Not Finished Paying Off the Mortgage." Or even "Adolescent On Board. I Know You Want to Kill Me But It's Against the Law."

Comments

[Boy or Girl?]

I used to,like you, think it was silly, now I'm not so sure. I'll do about anything to protect my children, even something I think is a bit silly!

[Steph Burgis]

I used to laugh about them too, but the police & fire services here in the UK actually ask parents to put them on our cars because it can be really helpful when there's been a terrible car accident for rescuers to see that sign and know to look for a baby in the car ASAP. It's not about prioritizing babies' lives over anybody else's - it's about making sure that in a horrible situation babies will get noticed and rescued in time (whereas adults are larger and harder to miss).

[mbandy]

Now that I'm a parent, I feel these signs are considerate to other drivers. As in "CAUTION: This vehicle's driver is sleep deprived and is driving while drinking hot coffee and listening to a screaming baby and/or toddler in the back seat. MAINTAIN A SAFE DISTANCE."

[123oleary]

Steph, I'm looking forward to that Mantel book as I share your fascination with the Tudors. Here's a link to a handy little crash course in the wives of Henry VIII courtesy of Horrible Histories (Euan's latest mania):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fadCAHjN-s

[Steph]

Duly noted, you guys.

And Sara, your little Euan has the BEST manias.