Screw that whole "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake" technique. We've had rather more than the usual share of crying and pouting around here lately. Until this morning, when we played "I hope the bad guy doesn't <insert chore here>" successfully for at least two hours. All you have to do is shriek something like, "I hope the bad guy doesn't brush his teeth... Oh no! He's getting his tooth brush... Stop him! Horrors, he's putting toothpaste on it! The moon is going to spin out of the sky if the bad guy brushes his teeth... He's... wait... the bad guy's brushing his teeth! Oh noooooooo! There goes the moooooooooooon!"
The bad guy took off his pajamas, put them in the wash, picked out his clothes and got dressed entirely by himself, brushed his teeth, brushed his hair, picked up all his toys, picked up all his sister's toys, took some dirty laundry upstairs, took all the dirty dishes out to the kitchen, took out the garbage, scrubbed the bathroom toilets, did the grocery shopping, and reshingled the roof.
Okay, so maybe those last three are a bit of an exaggeration.
If you're wondering where the moon went, why the sun has turned black, why the earth's orbit has suddenly stopped, and why an alien spacecraft has landed on the White House lawn, well, I'm afraid we might be responsible. We're sorry for the inconvenience but David and I feel it was totally worth it.
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